The Downfall of our Hearts
by ScrawledInk
Summary: Clare is dating Jake but he isnt what she thought he was at all. Eli was dating Imogen to try and get over Clare, yea that failed when imogen turned out to be Fionas new lover. NOT FINISHED Never will be... Sorry!
1. Ties and Headphones

**Summary:** Clare is dating Jake and it's only to try and forget Eli. But Jake isn't the sweet guy some people think he is, or what Clare thought he was. Eli was dating Imogene but she had another idea when she was getting closer to Eli, and it wasn't trying to steal his heart but maybe someone Eli knows pretty well now. ENJOY.

**Eli's POV**

"I loved that girl with EVERYTHING that I had, and I still can't call her mine. That's because I'm trash, I'm nothing, she deserves so much better than me but you, you aren't capable of loving her, and I know that for a damn fact." I yell at Jake.

I know he doesn't give a damn about Clare. He already stole her virginity and that's something she wasn't going to give up until marriage now he has ruined it. He is going to ruin her completely and the only thing I can do is yell at him. I can't fight him or hurt him and upset Clare, I can't confront Clare about it she hates me and she has a right.

I should have told her that I still loved her when I had the chance, that night at the dance I can remember it so clearly…

"_Did you erase me from your memory? Did you ever love me at all!" Clare yelled at me._

_I stood there frozen letting a single tear run down my face. I can't believe I hurt her like this…_

_I ignored her, I ignored the question. I grabbed Imogene and ran out of the dance and never spoke to Clare again._

I have Adam tell me what's going on and I know that Jake is cheating on Clare. I know it. He is with Ally, and Ally! I can't believe that she would do that to Clare. Cheat with her boyfriend. It's ridiculous. All I want now that I found Imogene to be unexpectedly a lesbian and now dating Fiona is to apologize to Clare run to her and tell her that she is the love of my life and that me the teenage dirtbag over here isn't worthy of loving her but wants a chance anyways. Yea? Well DREAM ON Elijah Goldsworthy.

When I get home I run up to my room and go into the bathroom. I turn on the bath and let boiling hot water run into the tub. I take off my clothes and get into it letting the water burn my flesh. It feels good, the pain. I thought about killing myself but I don't have the guts. I thought about cutting but you can't keep that a secret very long if there are red marks all over your body. Burning myself with the water is the best I can do and it's what I do. I can control the pain and I like that, the pain I get on my heart from losing Clare I can't, but the burning I can. And its wonderful.

After the water gets cold and looses the heat I get out and get dressed run to my bedside dresser and get out my gothic tales magazine. I read stalker angel every night before I go to sleep. It comforts me.

I can see now that this story was part of what drove Clare to believe that I had gone crazy, I mean I did kill "her" in the end but it was out of love. I guess I need to work on the way I show affection better. But I'm trash, I didn't deserve her anyways. Even if I would give it all up just to kiss her one last time.

**Clare's POV**

I lay down on the sheets and feel Jakes hand undress me, I let him do this because I need to look strong, and I don't want him to hurt me. That's all he does. There are so many bruises on my skin I can't count them. But if I tell someone he will kill me. Like literally with a knife or a gun or even his own hands.

I need to look like I'm over Eli. He moved on quick enough to Imogene even though she turned out to be playing for the other team…

I feel him press into me and I don't even cry, I don't make a sound. Not at all. I lay there and let him fuck me. I have no emotion. Maybe if I keep having no reaction he will stop, but I doubt that.

After it's all done he slaps me across the face yells "SLUT" and throws me outside. I walk home every night after this.

I'm broken and life doesn't seem worth living anymore. I failed god, I failed everyone. Everyone but Jake and in my opinion he can go to hell.

On my walk back home I cry, I cry my eyes out until no more water can come out to drown my sorrow.

When I get up to my room, I take out Eli's headphones and plug them into my Ipod. Wearing them is the only thing that makes me feel the least bit good. And I hold Eli's tie. The one he wore on our first official date. I can remember when I asked for it.

_After our contraband kissing I looked at Eli for a moment and we were both silent. I didn't let go of that tie though. Not the entire time._

"_Clare, I really need to get you home now. Your parents are going to forever hate me." Eli said to me kissing my hand. _

_We both stood up but I still didn't let go of that tie. _

_He dragged me all the way to Morty and into it while I was still holding it._

"_Clare, I'm letting you keep this tie since you seem to not be letting it go." Eli laughed a little and so did I. He helped me out of the car then picked me up and kissed me. He took the tie off his neck and gave it to me. I shoved it into my purse and went inside…_

I miss those days so much. I need to forget about it all. I made the headphones go louder, turned off the lights and fell asleep with the music blasting in my ears and the tie clenched in my hand tightly. I'm burning these things tomorrow, Eli will be out of my life forever. And that's all that can happen.

**Well I hope you guys liked it! If I get over 5 reviews I will make another chapter! **


	2. Notes

THANKYOU FOR ALL THE LOVELY REVIEWS. I think my favorite had to be from ilovetaylorswift13 because I got A LOT of feedback! Anyways enjoy this chapter!

**The Downfall of Our Hearts **** (Chapter 2)**

**"How is one suppose to react when another says i love you? Are you supposed to cry of joy? Because if you are...Why am I filled with such misery and tortured pain?"**

–**Caitlyn Bonniwell**

**Clare's POV**

I woke up early,5AM. I had too if I wanted to get to Degrassi early enough to burn these things in the parking lot.

I got dressed quickly, brushed through my hair and brushed my teeth. I covered up my bruises with makeup and ran out the front door with the headphones, the tie, and a lighter.

I got to Degrassi around 5:30 and I had to be quick because the teachers are going to come in soon.

I take the tie first and start to light it on fire, its half way gone when I see two people behind the sign at the front doors…

I'm about to walk over and try and see who they are when Mr. Simpson's car pulls in. I have to stop what I'm doing so I blow out the small flame that is left burning on the tie and run to the back alley of Degrassi, I sneak into the back door and run into the boiler room, I follow the stairs that lead up to the roof and sit up there, with the half tie and the headphones, I left the lighter when I ran and that's ok, because I don't think I can burn the headphones for all of two reasons.

One, the headphones are electronic and fire could make them explode. And two, I need them. I need them because there as close to having Eli next to me at night as I can get.

I sit up on the roof for about an hour. I'm skipping school today, that's exactly what I have decided to do. I can't deal with Jake's abuse today, his disgusting body or his words. It's all too gross. Jake is too gross. I honestly think that if anyone knew what he did they would stop there flirting. Oh yea I forgot about that little detail. EVERY girl at Degrassi Flirts with him. EVERYONE. Including Ally! Sometimes it's scary to see how far they go, I've even got death threats. And one was from someone who knows where I live so that's a bit frightening. But I don't care, killing me would be a GOOD thing. Life is WAY too hard right now but suicide isn't on my top ten lists of achievements…

While still sitting on the roof of Degrassi I see Imogen walk in holding hands with Fiona. The no PDA rule doesn't begin until you enter Degrassi. Imogen deserves to DIE for hurting Eli. But so do I, I would really think that too if he hadn't already moved on. I remember that I have a packet of Ketchup in my pocket, I shoved it in there planning to spill it all over Jake's locker and pretend I had NO idea where it came from but instead I opened it and right when Imogen was walking directly under me I spilled it all over her head and then saw her stand there in SHOCK. I started to laugh my head off and I ran back into the building, and out the back door. I went walking until I reached the park.

I sat under a tree and pulled out Eli's headphones, they were still connected to my iPod and I drowned out the world with music. It worked.

**Eli's POV**

Clare isn't in class today and Jake is. Where the hell is she! If he hurt her I swear to god I will fucking kill him. Hurting her is worse than everything he has already done. But I know the perfect way to mess with him.

I stand up and walk out of the room. Mrs. Dawes just looks at me but I keep going anyways. I walk to my locker then pull out my cell phone. I have Peter Stones cell phone number from when we met at a street race a few years back. I know his mom used to be principle and probably has the locker combinations still in her files somewhere at home.

"Hello?" Peter Answers.

"Hey Man, its Eli. Listen do you have the locker combinations for C45 and B23?" I ask him. Those are Clare and Jakes.

"Yea, I stole the locker numbers before we left the school. Ok the combination for C45 is 45-2-9

And for B23 its 37-25-4." Peter said into the phone while I wrote them down.

"Thanks man, Bye." I say hanging up.

I ran down the hall to Clare's locker and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

I started to write a fake love note…

'_Clare, _

_ I have been admiring you from a far and I think you're the most lovely creature on this earth. Your beauty is impeccable and I want to meet you alone, in the boiler room today at 3:50, see you there I hope?_

_PS: I think you know who I am, well by the hand writing and all.'_

I finished the note, opened her locker and stuck it in. I know that Jake has Clare's locker combo and when he sees this, he will take the note and meet me in the boiler room. Then I can beat his sorry ass up.

Next thing I do is write another note to put in Jake's locker.

'_Your girl is mine, just look at the note I placed in her locker if she hasn't already shown you it.'_

I go to Jake's locker and put it in his. This is going to be hilarious.

I figure I will come back at the end of the day to meet up with Jake in the boiler room but for now, I guess ill skip school and have some fun.

I walk through the streets of Toronto, I see two guys fighting behind a dumpster… Like when me and Fitz were… I walked past the park and saw something I never would have expected. Clare. Clare Diane Edwards sitting under a tree with my headphones on asleep. She kept them…

I can't help myself I have to go over there. I walk over quietly and look at her asleep for just a moment. I look at her iPod and see that she has Skinny Love playing. I can't help but sit down next to her and wait for her to wake up. This makes me feel good, alive. And sitting next to her makes the giant black hole in my heart fill up just a little bit.

**Ok I need 5 more reviews for the next chapter!**


	3. Wake Up

**Ok so this story is going great so far! I again want to thank you all for the great reviews! **

**The Downfall of Our Hearts ****(Chapter 3)**

"**One moment my heart burns to hold you and feel your warmth...but at other moments, if it's the wrong moment...I don't even want to hear your heartbeat let alone your excuses for where you were last night..." **

**~Caitlyn Bonniwell**

**Eli's POV **

I've been sitting next to Clare in the park for about an hour and I'm just now seeing her eyes start to open.

She moves her head to the side and looks at me. I see her eyes grow wide and she pulls the headphones off of her head.

"Eli? What are you doing?" Clare says with a confused expression on her face.

"I Umm… I saw you sitting here and I couldn't help it I had to come sit next to you." I say to her.

"Why aren't you in school?" She says to me.

"I could ask you the same thing Edwards, I'm surprised that boyfriend of yours doesn't have you on a leash under his desk. Why do you let him control you?" I ask her.

"That's none of your business, and he doesn't control me anyways, were just in love is all." Clare says. It almost looks like she is holding back a gag as she says it.

"Oh yea? Well I guess he didn't love you enough to let you stay pure until marriage though huh?" I say to her. I hate myself right now. I'm hurting her, I'm horrible.

"He forced me Eli… I didn't have a choice. He was going to leave me. I need him, I don't want him but I need him." She says to me. I see a single tear drizzle down her face.

"He, He forced you?" I say angrily.

"Eli, I shouldn't have said that…" Clare says. I look at my watch and its already 345. I better get back to Degrassi so I can give Jake a piece of my mind.

"Look, Clare. He is about to pay for anything and everything that he has done to you. Nobody hurts you and gets away with it." I say to her.

"Wait, What are you talking about?" She says.

"I stuck some notes in some lockers and let's just say that Jake is going to be meeting me at 350 to get his ass kicked so I have to go." I say to Clare and I start walking away.

I hear her get up and start to run after me.

"ELI! No wait you can't do that!" She says running after me. I'm just walking so she catches up to me.

"Why the hell not huh? I'm not going to let him get away with hurting you!" I say to Clare.

"Why do you care if he hurts me anyways Eli? YOU hurt me. You didn't respond to me when I asked if you ever loved me at all and I know that you never did! I was so Damn stupid for running after you…. You know what, fine! Go beat up Jake if you really feel the need, but all its going to do is cause me more conflict with him, he is going to hurt me more. He is going to kill me actually! Literally kill me, Not that you would even care! And take these god forsaken head phones of yours back! I'm going home…" Clare says throwing the headphones at me with her iPod still attached and running away.

I stand there. Frozen and now that she has told me more about what he has been doing I know he needs to be hurt.

All I want though is to run after Clare and tell her how much I love her and how much just leaving the dance that night damaged me and how damaged I am without her. I can't though. My body won't move anywhere but towards Degrassi and down to the boiler room I went.

"Hey!" I yell at Jake when I see him sitting on the bottom step. He gets up and looks at me.

"YOU? You wrote Clare that note." He says.

"Yea I did. I meant every word of it but this fucker was a set up. I knew YOU would come and it's time for you to get what you deserve." I say running down the steps and over to Jake.

"Oh yea? What are you going to do huh?" Jake says.

"Anything and Everything in my power to make sure you stay away from Clare for good." I say back running over and punching Jake.

"What? You think a punch is going to keep me from fucking and leaving her out in the rain every night!" He says throwing a punch at me, I dodge it and feel more rage come over me as he finishes his sentence.

"YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT!" I yell at Jake shoving him into the side of the stair well.

He grabs my shirt and pulls out a pocket knife. I stare down at it in horror.

"Oh really Emo Boy?" He says to me. Holding the knife right above my stomach.

The same horror that came over me on Vegas night rushed over me again.

"_Fitz, please don't do this." I say about to cry. Holding my hand out in front of me begging for Fitz to stop._

_He gets closer shoving me against the wall looking at me with the most Evil filled eyes I have ever seen. What I want is to run over to Clare pick her up and run far away and never stop until were both safe. _

"_Someone's gotta shut you up." Fitz says stabbing the knife into the wall. I sink down into the corner terrified and relieved._

_Clare rushes over to me and puts one hand on my knee and analyzes the fact that I'm okay._

I won't relive that night again. I grab the knife in my hand and let it cut through some of my skin and throw it across the room. I press my arm against Jake's neck and up to his chin where one hard press could choke him and kill him.

"I will kill you, I don't care how long I'm in jail for it I will. Stay AWAY from Clare. Never go near her again and transfer school's okay?" I wait for Jake to nod in agreement and he does.

I let him go and he runs out the back door away from Degrassi, and I run up stairs and go out the front door. I need to fix a lot of things…

**Clare's POV**

I'm sitting in my room crying my eye's out. Jake is going to hurt me I know it. And he probably hurt Eli too.

I'm in the dark and I turn over and try to go to sleep until I hear my balcony door open…

I turn over to see a dark figure standing in my room I flip on my lamp to see Eli standing there with my iPod and his headphones and a bouquet of roses.

"Clare I'm so sorry. At that dance I should have told you I was sorry for being so distant not talking to you and when you asked if I ever loved you at all of course I did and I still do and I never stopped and I never will. After I crashed Morty I had to start taking Meds for my issues. I was too scared to talk to you in fear that I might get so attached and scare you again. But then recently just a few days ago I threw them all away and that's why I didn't come running after you today because I was scared to hurt you. I beat up Jake. He is going to transfer schools and never speak to you again. He told me what he was doing to you Clare. These flowers are for you and I want you to keep the headphones and of course your iPod. I just wanted to let you know I love you and apologize for everything. I won't ever bother you again. Bye." Eli was about to walk away after handing me all of that stuff but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"No Eli… I want you to stay."

**I need 5 more reviews for more!**


	4. Love or horror?

**So I'm so sorry this story hasn't been updated in so long but I have been so super busy, my parents are having a bunch of parties and things lately and I have to help them and things but I hope you enjoy this story!**

**The Downfall of Our Hearts ****(Chapter4)**

**Eli's POV**

"No Eli… I want you to stay." Clare says to me grabbing my hand and pulling me back over to her.

"W-What?" I ask Clare.

"I love you too." Clare says.

I thought we were destroyed. That our relationship was no more. That the void in the bottom of my heart could never be filled. But at that moment. When those words escaped her lips and her hand pulled mine back in, something in my head sparked and I got a volt of feeling spread throughout my body. The sadness that I have been keeping along for the ride for so long just washed away out into the Ocean of other worries that have disappeared and I couldn't be more glad.

I pick up Clare in my arms and attach our lips. This is right, it has to be. I couldn't possibly want anything more in the world and I will do everything in my power to make this last.

"Can we please go back to where we once were Eli? Where we were when we were happy?" Clare asked with Tear filled eye's.

"Anything you want will happen." I say to her. I can see her look down and blush. That blush I had never seen in what felt a million years. But as she looks down at my arms she looks worried.

"Eli, what happened to your arms?" Clare asks… Oh no my scars from the boiling water I have been bathing in… I can tell this isn't going to go well…

"Well I take really hot showers…" I say to Clare.

"So you turn the heat all the way up to where it burns you?" Clare says looking sad.

"It was the only thing I could think of to take the pain away. The pain I had by not having you." I say to Clare.

She Hugged me tightly.

"Are you mad?" I say to her hoping the answer is a no.

"I'm not mad, I just don't want you to do it anymore Ok? And Eli I have to tell you something…" She says.

"Ok." I say looking her in the eye ready for whatever she has to say.

"When I was with Jake he… He made me have sex with him… every night and made me feel like shit… so I'm sorry if I flinch at all when you get near me because I realized that I get that image and…" She started to cry more and I kissed every tear that dropped down her face.

"I'm going to help you okay Clare? I'm going to do anything I can to make you better again." I say to her kissing her hand softly. She doesn't flinch even once.

"I better go and let you get some sleep Clare." I say to her.

"NO. You cannot leave me Eli stay here please." She looks at me with pleading eyes.

"Clare, if we are going to be together… I still don't want to break any of the rules we already had-" I started but then Clare cut me off.

"No, I just don't want to be alone tonight. Just lay here with me. My dad is at the house tonight and he gets up early for work so he won't even know you're here Eli." Clare says.

I nod and lay down next to her. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her softly. I still don't feel her flinch. Maybe she just means more serious stuff is going to freak her out.

We lay there for about an hour and talk but Clare slowly falls asleep and so do I.

**Next Day…**

When we wake up I decide it might be a good idea for Clare to have a day off and have some fun.

"Eli, you need to get home and get changed for school I almost forgot!" Clare says when she got up. Thank god she Is back to her sweet innocent self.

I smirk and then speak."We aren't going to school today." I say to her. Her worried look advanced into raised eye brows.

"But I just skipped yesterday and so did you!" Clare says worried once again about us getting caught.

"Oh well I doubt the school will even miss us." Eli said smiling.

**Clare's POV**

Eli stayed in what he was wearing but he looked cute ether way, I got dressed in my blue jeans and flowered pink and green shirt.

Eli and I walked to his house he said he got a new car and I couldn't wait to see what exactly this one looked like.

When we just around the corner he covered my eyes and led me to his house. He counted to three and I laughed but when he un-covered my eye's I saw Morty! Morty was fixed and right in front of my eyes!

"Eli how did he get fixed!" I asked Excited.

"A friend of mine owns a car shop and did it for free, it took a few months but he is all good now." Eli says smiling.

We get into the car and start to drive, I have no clue where we are going but I'm sure as long as I'm with Eli I will have fun.

Eli looks over at me and gives me a quick peck on the lips.

"I couldn't resist, I haven't had the right to do that in so long." He smirks going back to the wheel.

Suddenly we see a car in the distance but its coming down on our side of the road, Eli tries to swerve out of the way but its too late. The car was going 90 miles an hour and hit us. Next thing I know I'm awake in a hospital bed.

When I see a nurse walk in I scream…" WHERE IS ELI!"

"Well I'm afraid I have some bad new's…" She says. And right then my heart stops beating.

**You know the drill, 5 more reviews, but the more I get the sooner an update!**


	5. Blood

**Well Everyone I hope the last chapter didn't make you too mad! I know it was shocking, anyways enjoy this one!**

**The Downfall of Our Hearts ****(Chapter 5)**

"**I don't know who you are but I'm with you…"**

**Clare's POV**

"What's the b-bad n-news?" I ask the nurse. She is looking at me with sad eyes and my heart feels heavy in my chest.

"The boy that was driving, Eli if I'm right on the name. He hasn't woken up and his heart rate is lower than it should be. I'm afraid he may not make it." She says. I feel tears instantly streaming down my face.

"But he has a chance right?" I say to her, she looks down and sighs.

"Maybe, but only about a 20% chance so please don't get your hopes up." She says to me.

OH. MY. GOD. Eli has to make it. He just has too… I mean we just made up and what am I going to do without him. The love of my life…

I look around my body and realize I'm not hooked up to anything. I'm FINE. I get off the bed and look in the room next door and I see Eli laying there eye's closed and his heart monitor doesn't look too good.

I take his hand start to cry a little. I know that as soon as they phone my mom she is going to make me go home.

"Eli, if you can umm, hear me. I love you and I know you're going to make it through this. But if you don't. I promise I won't ever love anyone as much as I love you." I had to stop talking there because I started to have an emotional breakdown. I sat in the chair next to Eli's bed and cried into my hands. I didn't even pay attention to the fact that I was in a hospital gown. I just sat there and cried until a nurse came in and told me my mom was waiting downstairs in the lobby and that I could change into my other clothes.

I didn't want to get up but I did. I changed and went downstairs.

"Mom, can we come see Eli tomorrow?" I ask her. She looks unsure but when she sees me start to cry again she nods in agreement." She hugs me and leads me out to the car.

When I get home I run into my room and take a long shower. I try not to cry anymore but I can't hold back the tears that seem to be taking over my mind. If Eli is gone… I just don't know what I'm going to do.

I dry off and get dressed into a tee shirt and underwear. I slide into bed and cry some more. I bet by the morning my face is still going to be red and puffy because even going to sleep… I know my dreams won't be happy.

When I wake up I see my pillow soaked. I must have been up for hours crying. How did I make it out okay and Eli be in the hospital almost not alive? Life is fucked up. I never thought I would think things as horrible as this but it's true. Life is fucked up and I honestly hate it right now. It should be me in there with Eli. But I'm not… I'm at home fine and healthy.

As soon as I get out of bed I throw on a pair of jeans and put on a bra, don't bother changing my tee shirt or anything else but putting on shoes. I run out the door and begin to walk to the hospital, but on the way I trip over a crack in the sidewalk and fall on my face. I know that I'm bleeding a little bit but I get up and keep going.

After I've walked about a mile I start to feel like someone is following me… I turn around and see nobody.

I keep walking and hit a patch of snow that was left over from the big snow we had. I leave a foot print in it and keep going until I hear someone else crunch in the snow. I turn around now and I see none other than Fitz following me!

"Fitz?" I say to him.

Fitz walks closer and has no more of the scars he once had. He looks sad though.

"Clare, Father Greg he got me help! My brother doesn't hurt me anymore and I think we can finally start to have that good relationship I know we can have!" Fitz says grabbing my hand and pulling me into a dark alley.

"Fitz, Let me go! I have to go see Eli!" I scream but he keeps pulling me. We reach the back of the alley and he puts on a flashlight. I see Jake standing there.

"Oh, Clare nice of you to join us!" Jake says to me. I stand there in horror. I would scream. I would try and get away but if I wait I might be able to get away anyways.

"What do you two want from me?" I say to Jake and Fitz. Now that they are working together I bet they both want Eli gone…

"Well, first we want that boy toy of yours DEAD. Then we can have you as my fuck buddy and Fitz's lover. How does that sound Clare?" He says getting close to my neck.

"Fine do whatever." I say to them. I know what jake has. He has a camera to tape this. And I know that when he reaches down where ever he has hid it that I have to RUN.

Jake looks around the dark alley and finally finds the camera behind a bag of trash. When he bends over I kick him in the balls and run. Jake falls to the ground and Fitz starts to run after me. So I turn around and trip him, he hits me across the face on the way down. Then I start to bleed but I kick him in the balls two times as hard as I can and start off running to the hospital.

When I get there I don't ask to go upstairs I just go directly to Eli's room and when I enter. He is there laying AWAKE. And I couldn't be more happy.

**Eli's POV**

I only woke up a few hours ago and when I saw Clare run in I wanted to jump up out of this god forsaken hospital bed but I was still too weak.

"ELI!" Clare says running over to me. Wait why Is there blood smeared all over her face. She looks all beaten up, and its like she has been crying.

She leans down to kiss me and I kiss back but only for a second because I want to know what the hell happened!

"Clare what happened you bleeding!" I say to her.

"I tripped on a sidewalk crack on the way here. And well something else happened too but I cant tell you until your back and well at home…" she says. The fact that she just said that worries me but I guess ill just have to trust her…

I smirk and pull her onto the bed with me. And I wrap my arms around her. This is the only thing that I have left to make me happy, Clare Edwards.

**Ok so ELI DIDN'T DIE. I knew I scared all of you! Anyways I'm bumping it up to 10 reviews for the next chapter!**


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